For the asexually curious and the curiously asexual


So the Portkey Zucchini I mentioned? God, I fancy him. Not sure if it’s a crush or a squish, but it’s incredible, and intense and-

-not that way.

I was getting annoyed because I didn’t know what I wanted. So I sat down and had a serious think about my wants/needs from the relationship. They are:

-The intellectual connection. Which is visceral and dynamic and beautiful.

-Touch. Again, NTW (Not That Way). Not really anything more than two quite touchy-feely friends.

-Some form of prioritisation. Again, it’s mostly prioritisation in a way which a friend could easily expect, time alone together, planning spending time together when it gets more difficult.

So everything I want from him is absolutely nothing more than friendship. Which gets complicated, because my brain is telling me that this is zucchini territory. And then, for example, my friend to whom I am out about WTFromantic stuff was incredibly confused when I said I wanted to set Portkey up with someone I know. It’s not even that I wouldn’t be monogamous with him, so him dating wouldn’t be an issue. It’s just that I am crushing on him, and I want a relationship with him, but…

…not that way.


Comments on: "ILUNTW" (3)

  1. The problem is that we just don’t have the words for it. I don’t think it’s “just friendship”, in the way society talks about it. It sounds to me like you’re after something much more meaningful than that. It just gets the “friendship” label by default because it doesn’t qualify for the “relationship” label.

    • You’re completely right about the ‘not having the words for it’. I’m not so sure about the meaningfulness. Right now, I really feel like I have the feelings people should have about romantic relationships about a friendship. Except without using the words romantic relationship and friendship, because I’m suddenly struck by how little difference I can see between them.

      Definately no words…

  2. Aargh, I feel you on this one.

    I am totally calling this feeling squashing on someone now. You know, because it doesn’t make sense to think of it like a crush, because of the general aura of NTW, but at the same time thinking of it as a squish is silly because you’re already friends. So: Squashing on people.

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