So the Portkey Zucchini I mentioned? God, I fancy him. Not sure if it’s a crush or a squish, but it’s incredible, and intense and-
-not that way.
I was getting annoyed because I didn’t know what I wanted. So I sat down and had a serious think about my wants/needs from the relationship. They are:
-The intellectual connection. Which is visceral and dynamic and beautiful.
-Touch. Again, NTW (Not That Way). Not really anything more than two quite touchy-feely friends.
-Some form of prioritisation. Again, it’s mostly prioritisation in a way which a friend could easily expect, time alone together, planning spending time together when it gets more difficult.
So everything I want from him is absolutely nothing more than friendship. Which gets complicated, because my brain is telling me that this is zucchini territory. And then, for example, my friend to whom I am out about WTFromantic stuff was incredibly confused when I said I wanted to set Portkey up with someone I know. It’s not even that I wouldn’t be monogamous with him, so him dating wouldn’t be an issue. It’s just that I am crushing on him, and I want a relationship with him, but…
…not that way.